The Epiphany Post 1

2008-07-13 12:25am

I’m up…

I can’t seem to get to sleep. Words are somewhat lacking at the moment, but I truly feel I need to get my thoughts into place.

There have been some interesting things that have been going on, ever since I quit the military service.

I now work outside the trade of the technical side, pursuing a career in the Retail world. I am now a sales consultant over at The Brick downtown in Edmonton Alberta. I’ve tried contacting with my parents, but that prove to be a sever waste of my time.

I’m chasing after a nineteen year old woman, who has no idea what she wants. I have placed a deposit on a mystery method conference for the month of September, and I am currently broke – due to a crazy obsession to waste my money on pathetic porn clips online.

Drama has been continually been unfolding in every direction; especially with my friends, and JD.

But, I believe the real reason I’m writing this, at this accursed of an hour, is to try to get my life back on track, and take one step back and realize what’s going on.

First, I should begin with my passion for the Venusian Arts.

Yes, I want to become a master Pick Up Artist and all it implies. But I don’t think I have fully rationalized the situation yet. What is a PUA?

A PUA is a man who is able to attract women of his choice (with tons of practice) and seduce them and bed them. For the longest time I told myself, it wasn’t manipulation. But after attending a conference/meeting a few days ago at the Edmonton public Library with a fellow named Orleans, I realized that perhaps there’s more behind to this lifestyle than I originally thought.

I been going around bragging to everyone that I’m pursuing the art. With little or no success. I’ve been more talk than anything, and haven’t shown any action.

What do I have showing for me so far? A girl who I danced with at New City, and magically recovered her number. I’ve gotten cocky, believing that I don’t need the method after all.

But here I am….my dick is still dry, and I am no closer to my goal than I was when I was in the military.

Why did I come back to Edmonton?

To be near Friends?

To fall into the common trap everyone falls into once they’ve gotten comfortable with their lives?

I’ve lost all ambition. All drive. Everything that I worked hard for to reach this point has been for naught. And now I’m getting slightly pissed.

So what am I going to do about it?

I’m going to begin working on my blog site again. Start getting field reports written on a constant basis. Yes, my banking and budgeting has turned to shit in the past couple of months. And I haven’t approached any women, or at least as many I would like to; in the past couple of months.

I’ve gotten numbers, on two things. Balls and looks alone. No social value.

I need more than that. I need to rebuild from the ground up.

So lets focus on the three main points that is discussed in the Venusian Arts, and hopefully everything else will start falling into place.

1) Health:

I am, in perhaps one of the worst shapes of my life. I eat poorly, my muscle that I earned from the military has nearly disappeared, because I’m too busy giving into my desire to masturbate on a frequent basis, and playing video games.

What the hell?

There is no excuse for this. There’s a gym upstairs. I buy fruits and veggies but rarely touch them because I am lazy and refuse to cook. I’ve stopped tanning, I barely keep my facial hair under control.

I need to change this tempo. Cliff was the one who told me, that if I don’t put any energy into what I want to do/accomplish, I will receive the exact amount back. This has to change. Starting tomorrow; when I get off work.

2) Wealth:

I need to re-budget, and take control of my online spending frenzy. I will have a 6 grand loan to pay off, and if I don’t take care of this now, I will end up being in a lot of trouble and end up screwing myself over, in healthy foods, a decent social life and any chances of getting a girl and improving my grooming.

3) Love:

This is the area I need the most work in. My family issues won’t be solved any time soon, but at least I can patch things with my brother when he gets home and find out what’s really going on.

I need to start rebuilding the network with the PUAs in Edmonton, so we can all start going sarging at least a few times a week, so we keep sharp.

My friends are important to me, and I want to keep them loyal and be loyal to them. So I have to eliminate any stupid drama that may cause future problems. Focus on my current problems and not worry about anyone else’s. I have enough on my shoulders.

If I take care of everything mentioned above, and start sarging on a regular basis, than I can increase my love life dramatically. Maybe, even before the seminar in September begins. I have two months; a lot can be done in that time.

Finally the last thing I need to focus on is mental health. Once I reached a chi in my life, than things can start going my way. Focus on meditation, and perhaps the shun lo work out. Get my ass in gear.

That’s all for now.