Realizations - Mind of Charisma

15 July 09

So the day started off as any. I woke up – sluggishly and headed off to work. Not too much to note there. My day was slow, unproductive to begin with; filled with useless chatter and pathetic attempts to conquer social awkwardness at work. It seems I don’t give myself the benefit of the doubt when I’m out at work. My value – my own self value is...well pretty much garbage.
I don’t view myself as a Charismatic individual – and as much I hate to start off this field report with a shitty start; I need to bring this to my attention because I believe this plays a very important factor to a sticking point that has plagued me since day 1.
I need to develop a powerful mindset where I truly believe in my own self worth, and less of what other people are thinking.
Fact: Not everyone is going to like me. The sooner I realize this and stop trying to please everyone else, the more congruent I will become with myself. And I believe this will make a dramatic improvement in my game.
So eventually I received a text from Roger (Selfishgene); about heading off to some tent party happening over at the Bank. Considering the fact that this is a 2 week event, and it’s kind of a big deal – I knew I had to find someway to get there. Regardless of what the cost was going to be. I text out to Calvin (Link) and he manages to find a way where we can get VIP access with no cost. Fantastic!
He grabs some of my clothes and it’s off we go – rushing to make the 10 o clock meet, cruising down the highway, preparing for the mental arena I’ll be finding myself shortly into. We arrive running into some other community members. We walk in, and as I approach Peter (Ron Burgundy); whose busy pulling money out of the ATM – we get approached by 2 girls. One of them I recall was named Brittney – a decently attractive woman.
I freeze. I panic. My mind is racing for something to say, something cool to impress them with. (Alas my sticking point sticks out. Beautiful women intimidate me. And it shouldn’t be about ‘impressing’ them, it’s about dragging them into my reality). So eventually I eject along with Peter. Not very happy as to how that set turned out. So I sought to redeem myself.
I open another set or two – get introduced into a few from Calvin – and rather than rolling my eyes for every time he runs into someone else new – I should be DHVing my wing. This man is socially qualified. Who am I to throw that down – that is no small feat!
Some of them turned out well – but once again women of beauty put me off into a rough spot. I am not connecting with these girls. (Need more eye contact). I need to be more genuine, slow my speech and become desensitized by their presence. After all, a woman should have more to offer to me – the prize – than just her stunning looks and open vagina. There`s more to it than that!!!
So as I`m writing this field report –I feel like I`m getting better and that my mentality is getting stronger. I have realized that tonight I can run some sick game – and it can all come together – if I believe in myself. One set, I blew out of the fucken water! There is nothing more than I want to do but recreate that scenario with a beautiful set; with a set with men guarding their prize, and walk away as a champion. My dream is one the line – and I can`t afford to sit off on the sidelines while the big bogs play.
It`s game time, and even if I do hate the rules; I have to realize that they`re going to be there regardless of what I do. And if anything this game is getting harder and harder with each passing day. Women are being approached thousands of times a day. The media is slipping game material into every day society. It`s only going to get harder. So I need to get good at this.
Tonight has also been a valuable experience in terms of winging. My wing – Calvin – needs to be DHVed more. This man needs social proof and value from me, in order for us to vibe well together. Stating we just live together is not enough. It`s time to re-create stories and live in them. Sauna parties, American Apparel, adventures at Rockstars, chasing girls – these can all be re-telled with DHV spikes. I have to make it happen.
I know where my wing needs pushing. He needs to open sets on his own and begin to truly expand his social networking. He also needs to be more in tune with his emotions.
On the same page, he knows where I need improvement as well. He knows that I am intimidated with women. He knows we need a game plan, and that I am not a 100 percent honest or in tune with my emotions. Now that these points have been brought up to us, it`s time to make an improvement.
Charisma signing out.