EMSIC –
My first recorded Field Report posted on socialimprovementclub.com/forums, under Field Reports. (Note: you need to be a member to view the other files.)
(Location: Canadian Forces Base
User name: Charisma
Category: Journal
Date: Feb 2007 (Near the end of the month)
Charisma’s Field Report File #2
Well Gents, time for a quick overview of my second field report.
And I’m going to pre-warn you, it may not be what you expect…
The Location :
The People: Myself, Jeff, James (who ended up going home with a woman, kudos to him) and a very close (well….was) friend of mine – Caitlin.
The
So what went wrong?
The night at the club was splendid, a great ass kicking time! I was on the dance floor – surrounded by gorgeous women, dancing and chatting with a whole bunch (not technically pulling the casual openers, since they opened me) of them, and even managed to get numbered close by a fucken 9. A 9 asked for my number!
I really did feel like the shit, and not to mention I felt highly like the prize. That’s never happened before – and it really did make my night.
Which caused the jealousy plot between me and Ashley – and she even admitted she was more attracted, but slightly jealous after the incident. So things were going smoothly…until…
We headed to Humpty’s. We had a blast for the first hour and a half (so much, we didn’t want to leave.) But let me tell you something, when it comes time to picking a pivot (even if she’s knowledgeable about the Game; don’t bring a close friend with you).
Caitlin kept spitting DLV stories again and again in front of my – what I would have called my potential girlfriend.
Over and over; always about the past.
I’m not necessarily proud of my past, since it was a harsh time for me, she can’t understand that, she thinks she has me all figured out! (I’m not going to let this get the best of me….I’m going to relax, and get back to the FR)
So I ended up saying, ‘Would you shut up…’ Caitlin took it in the form of a joke and continued, and she slipped something she SHOULDN’T have slipped.
Caitlin: ‘Oh did you know he rated you?’ – To my set
-note: I trusted Caitlin, since she’s supposedly in the game to keep that to herself. I found her a HB 7, with a HB 9 Outlook and personality. So the cute factor was a big influence. This being said the wrong way, would pretty much destroy any self confidence she has and transform me into a shallow jerk and no longer the loveable guy -
Charisma: …
Ashley: ‘you rated me?’
Caitlin: (realizes her mistake, she wanted to boost her ego and make me look good by mentioning the cute part….) ‘Well….in a good way’
Charisma: ‘Caitlin, seriously – shut the fuck up! (I felt the social pressure, I really did. I couldn’t react witty, I couldn’t react cool, she pressed my button…and she knows about it too)’
So this led to half an hour of awkwardness, where Jeff tried to salvage the group by being humorous and funny. I felt Ashley more distant from me, and I felt Caitlin suddenly drop in energy and vitality – as she became super self conscious. And well, I was just generally pissed!
After calling a cab, Caitlin stands outside, as I say goodbye to Ashley – trying to save what could be saved; admitting to her that basically the rating I gave her, but told her everything about her was fantastic – that I didn’t want to act like a shallow son of a bitch. – Too bad for that, I think I blew my chances with her…even though there was an ‘Aw, its okay… (Slight kiss)’ but it was socially awkward –
-Second Note: I HATE SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS, that and Ashley mentioned ‘you would have gone with the other girl instead of me wouldn’t you?’ than I tried explaining to her that I didn’t even know her, let alone her name; that I was merely trying to expand my social circle – jealousy plot line kicks me in the ass…oh and the foot in my mouth was a nice touch –
So the entire cab ride was just me and Caitlin in the back seat, where she just lost it on me! All about how ‘I shouldn’t be ashamed of my past (I am a bit, but I’m focussing on moving ahead) and how I’m not the same Jean-Yves….blah blah blah, military/game changed you, I don’t like the new you, why can’t you be the old AFC loser Jean-Yves?’
I lost it, I really did. Way to smack me in the face and degrade everything I’ve ever done. Just because you think you know me Caitlin. Where were you in the past two years when I needed you most?
WOMEN! God, they can be so annoying at times! So now, my 13 year friendship is going down the gutter because Caitlin can’t accept the new changes (even though I’ve been more like myself around her and she admitted ‘loving the new me’ not so long ago). So I told her, ‘Hey, when you decide to do your own thing, without any help, and start from scratch, come talk to me. At least that way, you know what the term sacrifice means. Maybe do some growing up while you’re at it’.
So now, I imagine she’s pretty pissed. Secondly, I think I lost everything with Ashley, if not, it will be a weird awkward week. And finally - thirdly – Jeff mentioned at the table at Humpty’s, that the 9 that picked me up; just wants to fuck a military guy with no strings attached.
Awesome…right in front of Ashley…
Joy.
So – guys, sorry to come out as a whiney bitch – but this field report is definitely going under the FAILURE category. A lot more work is needed to be done, and I’ll have to suck it up and open new sets, make new friends, and continue on as per –while becoming my best self.
Sticking Point(s): Trusting people too much and having my own words bite me in the ass, and poor control of threads to avoid DLV stories.
*sighs* Sorry again guys, but that’s all I got for tonight. Thought I ventilate a bit and post this up.
-Happy Gaming as always.
-Jean-Yves/Charisma
- Truly I let my emotions get the best of me in this scenario.
- Expect the unexpected
- The man with the more choices on how to react has more power over a conversation. That man must keep his emotions intact.
- Don’t let your past hold you back. Rather look at your current successes and look to the future
No comments:
Post a Comment